Remember the pre-salary cap days when the Super Bowl kind of stunk? You’d get one team loaded with future hall of famers with cool nicknames like “Sweetness”, “The Assassin” or “The Bus” playing some squad with a bunch of no-names who sort of snuck their way in. And the results usually weren’t pretty.
One team would be shown dancing around and running craps games on the sidelines. Pouring Gatorade on themselves. While the other was in tears. And that was during the first quarter.
Scores like 32-14, 38-9, 46-10, 42-10 and 55-10 were the norm. You’d started to drink at 9am under the assumption that you’d be going back to sleep by halftime. It wasn’t long ago that the scribes used to call this game the Super Bore.
But the big game has been anything but boring for most of the past decade. In fact, we really haven’t had a true blowout since the Bucs pasted the Raiders six years ago.
It’s time for that streak to end. The Steelers are going to bury the Cards.
No, I’m not expecting anything along the lines of 55-10—a score that will forever define the absolutely spectacular offensive years of the 80’s Niners. But Arizona is going to have some trouble scoring, while the Steelers attack will be fairly potent. And here are ten reasons why (some based on insight, some based on intuition)…
Hard Core Jacko Insight
1. Kurt Warner may be one heck of a guy but I doubt that James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley really care. And Warner hasn’t seen a pass rush like this in years. As with most Super Bowls, this game will be won in the trenches. With Pittsburgh’s front seven dreaming of diamond-encrusted pinky rings at every snap, Warner better be prepared to fire quickly. With his timing off, expect Warner to be a bit of a mess.
2. In tandem with QB pressure, Pittsburgh’s DB’s will be all over Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin off the line. Arizona’s passing game is all about rhythm and timing. The receivers will be late off the line, while the QB will be trying to throw early. Not a good combo. I see 2-3 Steelers picks in Warner’s future.
3. Big Ben won’t make the kind of dumb mistakes that did in both Jake Delhomme and Donovan McNabb. In the case of Delhomme, I can only assume that someone spiked his Gatorade with NyQuil that day—he was just awful (although he apparently reported no sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head or fever while sleeping for over 37 hours following the game). Meanwhile, Donnie Mac simply became afraid to throw to the open man. He may have actually had the NFL’s first negative passer rating in that first half—he was also just awful. The conservative Roethlisberger won’t be so accommodating.
4. The Cardinals running attack is hoping for a strong performance from Edgerrin James. I know, it’s a bit disorienting—you’d forgotten that Edge was still in the league. So did he…until he started to smell the limelight of a playoff run. But that won’t be enough against the best defense in football. Edge won’t get over 50 yards in this game. And without any rushing attack to speak off…well, see reason #1 if you’re not already connecting the dots here.
5. The Steelers finished 12-4 without much of a running game all year. Willie Parker battled injuries for most of the season. And they lost stud rookie, Rashard Mendenhall after just a single half of football. But Parker is back and looking strong. The Steelers are playing a really balanced game right now and they’re going to be very tough to stop.
Not So Hard Core Jacko Hunches
6. 2009 is officially the year of Obama. And Obama is going to use his mac-daddy blackberry to call the winning coach this weekend. Obama is a talented and inspirational young African American. Steelers coach Mike Tomlin is also a talented and inspirational young African American. Can’t you just feel the symmetry here, people? We’re talking cultural phenomenon time. Now although there’s still an outside chance we may see Will Smith steal this mojo by willing Seven Pounds to a back-from-the-dead blockbuster weekend of ticket sales, I’ve got my money on Tomlin getting a congratulatory call from the big man after this one is over.
7. Pittsburgh will feel like the home team. No, the game isn’t being played in the Steel City (but how sweet would that be—zero degree temps and Primanti sammies for everyone). But Steelers fans travel well and are about 2,000 miles closer to the game site. Plus, I’m sure many figured the Steelers had a decent shot before the playoffs and reserved space accordingly. Trust me, nobody but Kurt Warner’s god thought the Cards were going. And they only had about 1,400 fans to begin with. Expect Raymond James Stadium to be blanketed in black and yellow.
8. This is Super Bowl 43. 4+3 is 7. And this is the Steelers’ 7th Super Bowl appearance. I think our winner is fairly obvious here. In honor of Chinese New Year this week, I’m letting a little numerology work its magic. And according to the ancient traditions of a proud culture, the Steelers will be the champs.
9. Imagine if a steelworker had to fight a little red songbird. Let’s see, a guy who deals with molten steel and fire against something that chirps. Done.
10. Polamalu. Forget that he’s one of the nastiest cats in football. Forget that his crazy long hair makes opposing wideouts think they just got de-cleeted by a girl. Forget that he’s in that really cool ad with LT. I just like saying his name. And that’s reason enough for me to go with the Steelers.
Pittsburgh 30 Arizona 13
